WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I have a number of things running through my mind at the moment so I thought to do what I do best when I’m unhappy……. Write :d I should warn you that I am writing as it comes to my mind and I might not be coherent.

I’ve been asking myself, ‘what is wrong with me’? (I know its not my village people oh.lol). Why am I scared of commitments? Well, if I want to be shallow, I’d say it’s because I have been heart broken and blah blah blah. Truth is, in the inner inner ‘cocus’ of my mind, I know that it is because I want to be sure that I am the girl that nobody in his sane mind would want to let go 😀 (pretty vain eh). I used to think I was that person o, apparently I wasn’t doing something right so I keep asking myself “What’s wrong with me”.

I’ve come to realise that being in a relationship takes a lot. I know my mother is praying and fasting and ‘kabashing’ for me to get married a.s.a.p (I am praying for that too o) but the truth is, every time I think about marriage right now the next thing that comes to my mind is, “Jennifer,are you ready”? It takes a whole lot to give your all to another person fa, mhen, its not beans. I also think if I haven’t had a perfect relationship yet (even though I give it my all), it means I am not doing something right, right? I read in an awesome blog that there is nothing like the ‘right’ one. According to the author, anyone can be the ‘right’ one, it just depends on how you can make it work. What I understood by this is that you have to be the one to tag someone as ‘right’, its not like God marked some people as the ‘right’ ones and others as the ‘left’ ones -_-. Hehehe.
The funniest part is that most of the ‘right’ people that your friends and family are with are not even near your qualification for being ‘right’. Last last, one man’s kpomo is another man’s meat (I don’t know what that means).

Another issue is the people that you keep hanging or waiting as you are trying to be ‘right’. Apparently, you are hurting someone (or a community) and that is definitely not cool ☹ . Its actually silly when you tell someone that you like them but you are not ready for commitment. It is even worse if you are like me. It seems my light likes staying green even when it’s red I want it to be showing fa. Let me use this medium to apologise to those that the yeye light misled, it was a system error. I like(d) a guy who thinks that the reason why we are not dating is because I want more than he can offer. It’s funny when I hear that because that is very far from the truth. The truth is U are a great guy and I don’t expect anything from you, I am the one with skosko sef. I have learnt that you don’t have to be in a relationship to get heart broken…… It’s very possible to be committed and not be in a relationship (done that).

I’m trying to be a better girl, daughter, sister, friend, christian, neighbour, colleague right now so that I can be the perfect girlfriend and eventually wife :D. I also have to learn a lot more recipes; we can’t have you going back to eat your village soup at your mom’s. I honestly just think I should make myself the ‘right’ one for someone and since great minds attract (I hope), wait for the person to see how ‘right’ I am.
Ok, now I feel better so the rambling is over. I made this marriage-related because I can’t date someone that I can’t marry.

Errrm, not sure why i posted this but if you know me, I’d really appreciate a feed back if you think there’s something I need to change to make me better.

Tell me in camera o, do not wash my linen in public (even though it is not dirty). Lol. Mercie beaucoup…… compliments of the season.